At one time, the term rock bottom was completely foreign to me. I can remember feeling really bad for anyone who claimed to have ‘hit rock bottom.’ What devastation they must feel. Their whole world must have just collapsed. How will they go on? I was soon to find out.
My journey to rock bottom
I’m not gonna say I had it all but for the most part, my world was pretty good. It wasn’t perfect and I’ll admit, I was sailing through on a song and a prayer. I lived in a nice house in a posh neighbourhood with my partner and in 2010 I purchased my first business, a hair salon.
I belonged to an amazing networking group of successful women. I was well respected in the community and had lots of friends. You could say my life was pretty good. However, this didn’t last for long.
Three years after the purchase of the salon I closed the doors and declared bankruptcy. Six months after bankruptcy, I walked out of my abusive relationship with nothing to my name.
I was a shell of a person. I had nothing and in my eyes, I was a complete and utter failure. At 52 years old, my whole world came crashing down on me and I for the first time in my life, was absolutely terrified.
I walked around in a daze for months. I was completely empty inside, both emotionally and mentally. I had no desire to rebuild my life. There was little life left in me to work on. I secured my old job at the salon I was at prior to my business purchase. Every day I had to face people who I’m sure were disappointed in me and most likely laughing at me behind my back.
I was a loser. They knew it and so did I. When you hit rock bottom, any and all self respect and self confidence you ever had goes right out the window. You’re constantly embarrassed and feel worthless all the time. However, one day something snaps when you look in the mirror and can’t stand to look at the person looking back at you. This is without a shadow of a doubt the moment some confidence and hope arises to change.
I looked in the mirror one day and I didn’t recognize the person staring back. She was sad, empty, blank and lifeless. This wasn’t Iva and I so desperately wanted her back. I missed the optimistic, bubbly and outgoing girl that used to stare back at me in the mirror. And I was determined to get her back.
I had reached a point where I was tired of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I was tired of telling myself I was a loser and a failure and that I would never amount to anything. But I was mostly tired of just existing with no purpose or passion.
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling
The climb out of rock bottom
I started devouring self help books and reading any and all blogs I could on how to get your life back on track and how to find self love and self worth again. I read inspirational quotes and listened to motivational YouTube videos day in and day out. I journaled and cried and prayed and meditated. All the things I have never done in my life, I was doing daily without fail.
Slowly, Iva was emerging but she was so much different this time around. She had hope, faith and determination and nothing was going to stop her or stand in her way of rebuilding her life. My journey out of rock bottom took almost a full year to complete but in that time, I learned so much about myself, people and life.
Here are the 5 life lessons I learned from hitting rock bottom:
1. Failure isn’t real
There’s no such thing as failure. I’m not even sure why this word exists. You had an idea or a plan, tried it, and it didn’t work. You learn lessons from this and you move on. Always remember one very important thing: you tried. Most people don’t even bother. Believe in yourself.
2. You’re not stuck anywhere
If something isn’t working or isn’t good for you, leave it. I was terrified to leave my abusive relationship because I knew it meant I would lose everything. And I did. When I finally took the plunge and left, everything in my life changed for the better. Have faith!
3. Change is fun and scary, but do it anyway
Although change is terrifying, it’s necessary. We don’t grow in our comfort zone or in our misery. Sometimes you have to do things that will scare the daylights out of you..do them anyway. This is where you learn and grow. You meet people and you experience things you never would have if you stayed in your comfort zone. Take the leap.
“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill
4. Everything is temporary
The good and the bad. Nothing is forever. No matter how horrible your situation is, it won’t last. It will eventually go away or maybe even turn out great! Embrace all the good life has to offer you and learn the lessons the bad will give you. Have patience.
5. You have great power over your life
I was determined to change my life any way I had to. I did whatever I had to do to turn my life around. Was it easy? No. Is it impossible? No. I knew I had the power to change and it was up to me, and only me, to do that. No one could do it for me.
No matter where you are in your life right now, if things aren’t working out the way you expected, don’t worry. Things will always get better if you try to make them better. You can do anything you want. All you have to do is find the power that’s in you and unleash it.
4 Ways You Can Master Magnetic Confidence – Ashley Hann
What does confidence mean to you? For me, it is a deep, unshakable internal knowing of your value, your worth, what you bring to the world and who you really are. I believe that in order to experience our own greatness, we must first know it exists within ourselves. We must believe it in order to see it.
Once you have arrived at this deep knowing, you will be able to experience and exude your own personal magnetism. I define magnetic confidence as the ability to attract anything and everything that is in alignment with who you are and what you want, and repel everything that isn’t.
You become polarizing.
In this Addicted2Success podcast episode, Joel Brown asked me to break down four ways that you can master your own magnetic confidence so that you can create the results you want and live a life in alignment with who you are.
1. FACE THE UGLY: Shine Light On The Darkness
Everyone and their mom is talking about positivity and being positive. Now look, I’m all for positivity. I love it. However, what I am seeing is more and more people trying to be positive prematurely. They are painting over their pain with positivity. While this may work in the moment, the underlying issue is not being dealt with so it will keep resurfacing every time it is triggered. What we resist, persists. Plus, when we paint over, repress or sweep things under the rug, we are adding to the darkness within us because secrecy breeds shame.
The only way to overcome our darkness is to shine light on it. Don’t shove it down, hide it, repress it or judge it. See it, accept it and embrace it so that you can move through it.
Look, everyone has a dark side and a light side. This is what makes us human. We must learn to see the beauty in the contrast and channel our dark energy into light. The more we resist this darkness, the more it will build inside of us. We must embrace these parts of us so that we can transform our pain into our power.
2. F*^K WHAT PEOPLE THINK: You Do You, Boo
#FACT: People will judge you.
The quicker you can make peace with the fact that judgement is inevitable, the less it’s going to affect you. The greatest leaders on this planet have judgers, nay-sayers and haters. And guess what? The reason they are great leaders is because they don’t let those judgements or the fear of judgement stop them.
I’m also going to challenge you on something. You ready for this?
It’s not the judgment you’re afraid of. You’re scared of what the judgements might mean about you. You’re making it mean things like “I’m not worthy”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, etc. Well, do you want to know the good news? You are in charge of the meaning! So why not make judgement mean something that actually forwards you? For me, I let the number of haters be a gauge of my success and how big of a game I’m playing. The more haters I have, the more I know I’m showing up unapologetically in my power and in my truth. This meaning I’ve created forwards me. What meaning can you create?
If you want to be confident, you must reinterpret and shift your relationship with judgement and haters in a way that empowers you. You must let the rude, mean comments drip off of your back like water. You’ve got to let it all push you forward instead of hold you back. Remember: magnetic confidence will make you polarizing. This means there will be people who don’t agree with you, dislike you, and may even hate you… and that’s more than O.K., that’s GREAT.
3. SHIFT THE STORY: Rewrite Your Stories, Rewire Your Mind
You are the sole, uncontested author of your life. You are not a victim. You haven’t been dealt a crappy deck of cards. You have actually been given a very precious gift called life where you have the ability to write your own story and create your own reality.
We are meaning-making machines. We create meanings and stories for just about everything that occurs in our lives. The question is, are the stories you are telling yourself empowering you or disempowering you?
When I find myself thinking something that’s draining my energy and doesn’t feel good, I’ll ask myself: “Can I 100% know that that’s true?” And if the answer is no, then I choose a different story that is also not 100% true, but that actually makes me feel good.
If you’re going to create a story, you might as well create one that feels good and empowers you!
In the episode, I go into a bit more detail on how to do this. I highly recommend you listen because this is a crucial part of becoming your most magnetically confident self.
4. WATCH YOUR WORDS: Eliminate These From Your Vocabulary Now
It’s one thing to think something disempowering, it is another to actually say it out loud. When you think a thought out loud, you are giving energy to the thought. We must be deliberate and intentional about what we choose to give energy to. Your words become worlds!
Here are some words to eliminate from your vocabulary immediately:
- “Have to”
Listen to the full episode at the top of this article to understand why these words are detrimental to your confidence and success. You’ll also learn what you can replace them with that will actually fuel you and boost your self confidence.
If you enjoyed this episode and blog post or if you have anything to add, please leave a comment below.
This 5 Minute Test Will Instantly Change Your Life
Twelve months is too small for a life plan. The moment you understand this, the new year celebrations become a cliché. Success in life is always a build-up of several years of consistent “little” progress. The new year celebration is for gratitude, not for life planning.
People often overestimate what they can achieve in a year. But they greatly underestimate what they can achieve in 10 years. I discovered a whole new way of making progress in life quite recently. It was from the story of how a friend of mine made her most profound life progress yet. It began with a simple test that can change your life.
My friend was working in a small non-governmental organization that year. She was unsure of how to go forward in life. Life was looking scary and she was getting confused. Then, she attended a conference and took a simple test that helped her change her life.
Here are the 5 questions you must answer in the next 5 minutes:
1. What do you want to be doing (as work) 10 years from now?
Forget about today. Forget about next year. Let us go a bit further into the future. This question is not asking what you think you will be doing in 10 years. The question is asking what you would like to be doing in 10 years.
Saying that you want to be traveling around the world doesn’t count. Even if you plan to retire by then, you still have to be doing something to be responsible. To be doing nothing is to have no reason to be alive. Other people must feel your impact in some way. So, add 10 to your age and write down what you would like to be doing then.
My friend wanted to be working with top international organizations like the UN. She wants to be winning grants and handling big projects in her field. What is yours?
“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
2. Who is doing what you want to be doing in 10 years?
Believe it or not, there are people that are already living at least a similar version of your dream today. Do you know them? If you think there aren’t any, I challenge you to get on the internet and find out now.
Try as much as possible to find at least five names. Write only people whose life conforms to your answer in question 1. For my friend, she realized most of those she knew who had this life were in professors in academia. Go out and find your potential mentors today!
3. Identify (from the people you listed) who you need to become to get to your dream
It became clear to my friend that she ought to aim at becoming a university professor. Interestingly, she had always wanted this but never gave it attention. There is a person you’ll need to become to make your dream a reality. Until you identify who you need to be to have the life you want, your life will be without focus or direction. Who have you identified you need to be?
4. What job, work or responsibility will put you on a straight path to becoming who you’ve identified in question 3?
For my friend, she instantly knew she should be seeking a job opportunity at a University. It was the straight path to rise through the ranks to become the person she desired to be. Now, it is not about money or the pressure of getting something worthwhile to do. She had a clear target.
Becoming who you need to be will require that you have some experience credentials. You will get that experience by working somewhere. This is about handling a particular responsibility where you grow and develop. You need that job or responsibility that will put you in line to become who you need to become. So, what is that job for you?
“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” – Oprah
5. What is the training that will qualify you for the job in question 4?
My friend already had the training and qualifications she needed, so she took off with finding the job she had identified. It took about 3 months of researching job opportunities and taking very bold steps prior to landing the job she wanted at a university.
Most people need some amount of training to land the job they have identified. Work training has become easy today because of the internet. There are myriads of training opportunities that exist in any field you can think of. If you can’t afford the ones you are seeking, I can assure you that there is a free one somewhere that can get you started.
In the professional line, many schools around the world now offer online degrees. In the gig economy also, there are lots of training by experts in various spheres. There is no way you won’t find an online course that is right for you.
Is a particular training coming to mind right now? Take action on it immediately! The training gets you the job. The job makes you into the expert. Search out the training you need and take action immediately!
Once you identify the training and start it, you begin working your way from question number 5 to question 1. From the training, you get the job. From the job, you grow to become an expert or authority in the field. From becoming an expert, you will be free to live the way you want.
For some people, this can indeed take 10 years. But for most, it takes less than that to get to question 1.
My friend is now transitioning from the job to the expert. She made new changes after reevaluating her goals with another test. She recently quit her job at the university to get a more ambitious job in a bigger city. And yes, it is with an international organization.
70 Highly Motivational Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Quotes
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is an American actor, producer, semi-retired professional wrestler, and former collegiate football player.
The rock has become a very common name in the entertainment world. Forbes named him the top grossing actor of 2013. They are calling him the hardest working man in show business. Up to the end of 2015, The Rock’s movies have grossed $5.8 Billion worldwide.
Here are 70 Dwayne Johnson Quotes:
1. “All successes begin with Self-Discipline. It starts with you.” – Dwayne Johnson
2. “Don’t be afraid to be ambitious about your goals. Hard work never stops. Neither should your dreams.” – Dwayne Johnson
3. “Grind Hard, Shine Hard.” – Dwayne Johnson
4. “I like to use the hard times of the past to motivate me today.” – Dwayne Johnson
5. “Not only do I think being nice and kind is easy, but being kind, in my opinion is important.” – Dwayne Johnson
6. “One of the most important things you can accomplish is just being yourself.” – Dwayne Johnson
7. “The first step to achieving your goal, is to take a moment to respect your goal. Know what it means to you to achieve it.” – Dwayne Johnson
8. “The wall! Your success is on the other side. Can’t jump over it or go around it. You know what to do.” – Dwayne Johnson
9. “There is no substitute for hard work. Always be humble and hungry.” – Dwayne Johnson
10. “Wake up determined. Go to bed satisfied.” – Dwayne Johnson
11. “We do today what they won’t, so tomorrow we accomplish what they can’t.” – Dwayne Johnson
12. “When life puts you in touchy situations, don’t say “Why Me?” Just say “Try Me.”” – Dwayne Johnson
13. “When you walk up to opportunities door, don’t knock it… Kick that b*tch in, smile and introduce yourself.” – Dwayne Johnson
14. “With drive and a bit of talent, you can move mountains.” – Dwayne Johnson
15. “You don’t need directions, just point yourself to the top and go!” – Dwayne Johnson
16. “Be the person that when your feet touch the floor in the morning the devil says, “Awe sh”t, they’re up”. – Dwayne Johnson
17. “If something stands between you and your success – move it. Never be denied.” – Dwayne Johnson
18. “In 1995 I had $7 bucks in my pocket and knew two things: I’m broke as hell and one day I won’t be.” – Dwayne Johnson
19. “Success at anything will always come down to this: focus and effort. And we control both.” – Dwayne Johnson
20th Dwayne JohnsonQuote – “Success isn’t always about ‘Greatness’, it’s about consistency. Consistent, hard work gains success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson
21. “Success isn’t overnight. It’s when everyday you get a little better than the day before. It all adds up.” – Dwayne Johnson
22. “Think back 5 years ago. Think of where you’re at today. Think ahead 5 years and what you want to accomplish. Be Unstoppable.” – Dwayne Johnson
23. “I grew up in a musical family; the majority of my growing up was done in Hawaii. It’s what we do. You sing, you dance, you play ukulele and you drink.” – Dwayne Johnson
24. “The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody – like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger – and I thought, ‘That can be me.’ So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn’t realize back then that I was having a defining moment.” – Dwayne Johnson
25. “Football changed my life and it gave me a platform to get out my aggression and it gave me a sense of value.” – Dwayne Johnson
26th Dwayne Johnson Quote – “I like the idea of working in different genres and transcending genres and hopefully finding success, and ultimately make movies people like.” – Dwayne Johnson
27. “When he speaks to you he speaks with an earnest vibe and an earnest energy.” – Dwayne Johnson
28. “Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.” – Dwayne Johnson
29. “The one thing I couldn’t identify with was the blue cowboy outfit he put on. I was a bit challenged when I was younger to stay on the right path.“ – Dwayne Johnson
30. “I want someone who can trust that my big hands are going to take care of them.” – Dwayne Johnson
31. “I’m very low-key. I don’t really blend in, so it’s difficult to go out in public. I like to do things that are kind of quiet, whether it’s a dinner at my house or a restaurant, or a movie night at home.” – Dwayne Johnson
32. “My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.” – Dwayne Johnson
33. “I like the idea of making a big, fun, adventure type of movie.” – Dwayne Johnson
34. “When I was a kid at four years old, that’s when I started amateur wrestling with my dad and family. And when that’s instilled in you, it never goes away.” – Dwayne Johnson
35. “You don’t sign up for a divorce when you get married. It’s very painful. But it’s taught me a great deal about myself.” – Dwayne Johnson
36. “WWE is a space where I thrived, and I loved, and I still do. I love connecting with an audience; that is the greatest thing about going back to WWE.” – Dwayne Johnson
37. “I’ve always loved the showmanship of professional wrestling. While I love making movies, I love that platform, too.” – Dwayne Johnson
38. “My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.” – Dwayne Johnson
39. “The road to success and greatness is always paved with consistent hard work. Outwork your competitors, be authentic, and above all else, chase your greatness.” – Dwayne Johnson
40. “Let your actions do your talking for you.” – Dwayne Johnson
41. “With drive and a bit of talent, you can move mountains.” – Dwayne Johnson
42. “Just bring it!” – Dwayne Johnson
43. “Two things happen when an athlete gets injured. Some guys say, ‘;F*ck it, I’m going to wait it out 3-4 months.’ But with me and lots of other athletes, you find your eighth or ninth gear – a gear you’ve never gone to before – and say, ‘I’m going to come back.’” – Dwayne Johnson
44. “Training for me is a metaphor for life, period. The dedication, the determination, the desire, the work ethic, the great successes and the great failures – I take that into life.” – Dwayne Johnson
45th Dwayne Johnson Quote – “My work, my goal, my life, it’s like a treadmill. And there’s no stop-button on my treadmill. Once I get on, I just keep going.” – Dwayne Johnson
46. “I’ll never, ever be full. I’ll always be hungry. Obviously, I’m not talking about food. Growing up I had nothing for such a long time. Someone told me a long time ago and I’ve never forgotten it, ‘Once you’ve ever been hungry, really, really hungry, then you’ll never, ever be full.’ So I’ll always be hungry in some way, driven and motivated to get what I want.” – Dwayne Johnson
47. “I grew up where, when a door closed, a window didn’t open. The only thing I had was cracks. I’d do everything to get through those cracks – scratch, claw, bite, push, bleed. Now the opportunity is here. The door is wide open, and it’s as big as a garage.” – Dwayne Johnson
48. “Be humble. Be hungry. And always be the hardest worker in the room.” – Dwayne Johnson
49. “One of the most important things you can accomplish is just being yourself.” – Dwayne Johnson
50. “Blood, sweat, and respect. First two you give. Last one you earn.” – Dwayne Johnson
51. “It’s you vs. you.” – Dwayne Johnson
52. “It’s not about the car your drive. It’s about the size of your arm hanging out of the window.” – Dwayne Johnson
53. “Keep calm and shut your mouth.” – Dwayne Johnson
54. “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Dwayne Johnson
55. “It’s simple. Do it.” – Dwayne Johnson
56. “I like to use the hard times of the past to motivate me today.” – Dwayne Johnson
57. “You either play the game or let the game play you.” – Dwayne Johnson
58. “Unapologetically push for greater and always disrupt expectations.” – Dwayne Johnson
59. “It ain’t the 99% who’s not putting in the relentless hard work that I care about.
It’s the 1% who is.” – Dwayne Johnson
60. “I never want to just play in the game, I want to change the way the game is played.” – Dwayne Johnson
61. “Always be you, play chess, not checkers and always play the long game.” – Dwayne Johnson
62. “By 23yrs old, I failed at achieving the biggest dream of my life. My ass was kicked and I was down – but not out. I refused to give up, got back up and pushed on.” – Dwayne Johnson
63. “Do not go gentle — cause that rent is always due.” – Dwayne Johnson
64. “Outwork all competition, be grateful for the grind, don’t run from your demons and if it ever becomes personal, then payback’s a bitch. ” – Dwayne Johnson
65. “Vision, guts and enthusiasm. Three qualities I feel you always gotta have to have a shot at success.” – Dwayne Johnson
66. “I have a little belief that success is never unrelenting. And if success is what we chase – then neither are we.” – Dwayne Johnson
67. “Success will always be driven by focus & effort — and we always control both.” – Dwayne Johnson
68. “Two hand philosophy. If I can’t earn it, then I don’t want it. My hands might be calloused up and scarred up with a knuckle or two missing (poor punching form;) but they’re mine and serve as my daily anchors for puttin’ in the work.” – Dwayne Johnson
69. “Don’t focus on the pain. Focus on the progress.” – Dwayne Johnson
70. “Sometimes you find success and sometimes you don’t, but my satisfaction is knowing I’ll always control my effort with my own two hands.” – Dwayne Johnson
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